If you have been reading 100 Miles Highway for a while now, you must have noticed that getting all personal online is not really my thing. Sure, from time to time, I’ll drop a post on why I am not traveling full time or my deepest regret from my 2 years in Switzerland. However, most of the time I focus on experiences and places.
Well, lately I’ve felt the urge to write about another sort of experience – one that goes way beyond expat life, travel and adventure. One that is much more personal.
For the past few months I’ve slowly moved away from being the person I defined (and defended) myself as for all this time – a girl that aims to conquer the financial world and become a well-respected personality within the industry, that pictures herself with a beautiful loft in a big metropolis and traveling to the main hubs for business and escaping, from time to time, to deserted places – to becoming someone I can’t even define anymore.
All of a sudden, things I considered important in life don’t feel important anymore.
In contrast, I’m starting to consider life alternatives I had never even dared to think of before. I’m starting to feel that my priorities might be shifting towards something else. Maybe they’re are not even shifting. Maybe they had always been somewhere else, but I had been lost all this time believing they were here.
As I was explained earlier today:
It’s as if a cat believed it was a dog and always hang out with dogs barking, biting stuff and running after bikers… and suddenly realized that, well, it’s actually a cat.
I’m not regretting what I’ve done with my life so far, don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived in 7 cities in 4 countries in the last 10 years. I have developed a solid base in a highly competitive industry – an industry, that truly interests me. I’ve learned that mountains make me smile even more than beaches do. I’ve become to appreciate wine over beer (and even over a glass of Hendrix tonic with two slices of cucumber) and have developed a love for fine food. Now, I’m comfortable being on my own. I’m more organized and more responsible. I’m even on time (more often than not – I’m still sort of spanish, remember?). I’ve learned a lot on my way here, and I’m pretty sure that these experiences have made me (and are still making me) a better person.
So what’s my plan then?Am I going to set off and travel the World?
As exciting and tempting as this alternative life may be, I’d have the feeling I’m running away. I’ve got something to solve over here: I need to find myself and understand what really makes me happy. I need to find out whether I’m a dog or a cat or none of both.