I’ve been an expat for one and a half years now, and had never before sat down to clear my thoughts and feelings on living in Switzerland. It’s not my first time abroad. However, its the first time that I left my country without knowing when I’d be going back. I didn’t care about not knowing one single sole in the whole country, nor did I care about my lack of french knowledge. I hardly blinked when it came to leave the comfortable familiarity behind and dive into the unknown. I was going to conquer the World (or at least, Switzerland).
But my thoughts on working in a foreign country have changed over time.
Contrary to what I thought when I knew I was moving, culture shock is not only about different social norms or exotic food, which you can usually prepare for before moving, which I did. I had already worked six months in Zürich a couple of years before and had learned about many swiss standards – I learned how to eat fondue, how to greet co-workers in swiss german and where not to park my bike in the building (this one I learned it the hard way). Culture shock continues long after becoming familiar with your new life. Experts like to classify this identity crisis into four phases.
1) Honeymoon
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Fairy Tale Sunset in Lausanne, Switzerland
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The Honeymoon phase is full of excitement and euphoria. You feel you can grab the World in your hands and do whatever you want. Every day is a new adventure – new faces, a different restaurant, a hidden shop, a cute small side street with a boulangerie selling the best baguettes you have ever tried. The public transport is reliable, the city is peaceful, clean and safe and people are kind and respectful.
You smile while you walk. Life is good.
2) Frustration
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“Careful not to fall down the mountain” Sign, in Switzerland
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But honeymoons don’t last forever. You start to realize that there are actually less than 5 bars where you can go to - either because of the crowds or because of the prices. Its the forth time you try asking for a glass of water with your coffee and you receive an arrogant look from the waiter. Maybe even a clueless arrogant look – you’re wrong pronunciation bothers them, and having to repeat the same word 10 times (when you know there’s nothing even similar that it could be mistaken with) bothers you. You go to a hairdresser and come out with a messy cut and completely broke. Every saturday feels like a monday – you have to wake up early to do all the shopping for the next 6 days, as you will have no time to do so during weekdays.
Basically, this is the time when you get familiar with the flaws of living abroad: you don’t understand locals’ social norms, you get laughed at because of your pronunciation. You feel disillusion, frustration and anger. You blame all your mishaps to the culture and people in your new home country. At this point, you feel alone and misunderstood and would sell your organs to go back home (figuratively, of course).
3) Understanding
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Filet de Perche with sauce tartare, a speciality from Lac Leman
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After a while of closing yourself into a bubble, things start to get better - You’re adjusting to the new culture. Things that used to annoy you during the second phase, now are insignificant or can even be laughed at. You’ve adjusted your meals to the local timing (well, almost, I mean, sorry but a spaniard will never have dinner at 6:30pm) and are even trying out some new activities that are key in the new country, such as hiking, skiing and snowboarding. You have set up a routine, and feel comfortable with it.
You understand the cultural differences with your home country and are learning how to deal with them.
I believe I’ve passed the second phase (although frustration comes back eventually when I have to cope with a new shock). I’ve developed a routine for saturdays, that gives me enough time (and flexibility) to deal with the weekly food shopping. And in case I run out of milk, I know where I can buy some last minute. I’ve also realized that there’s so much more outside my city that is just a short bus, train or plane ride away. It’s really easy to keep on seeing new faces and different places whenever you get bored of it. I guess that’s one big advantage of Switzerland.
4) Acclimatation
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Sunset over Lac Leman, Switzerland
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Although I have adopted some local habits and am adjusting to the new culture, I still don’t feel that I belong here – I feel like a foreigner. Part of it may be because of my ridiculous french skills that don’t really take me any far. But there’s much more to it than the language barrier. I feel that I don’t have something really settled. My family is a couple of thousand kms away and my best friends are spread across Europe, too. I do know people that I consider friends, but most of them come and go – as most expats do. I guess the idea would be to start making local friends, which would only truly happen if I was fluent in french, and not only talk about where I come from and what I want to buy in the supermarket.
There’s still some hard work to do.
Have you lived or are you living in a foreign land? If so, in what phase do you think you’re at? Any tricks on how to get more involved in the host country’s culture? How do you meet locals?
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
Living in Spain, I definitely remember the "frustration" as I got used to the culture. Like when everything closes from 2-4 for siesta? Or how no one eats in public unless they are in a cafe? Or how the old ladies glare at you for showing bare arms even if its 97 degrees out? But it was shortlived, that frustration- then I acclimated and had a great time! I always enjoy meeting locals by starting up conversations with bartenders, baristas, pharmacists, and then returning to visit them often. They usually have other friends that do the same and pretty soon you know lots of people!
Great post! I think this is the perfect way to describe the steps of living abroad. I would just mix in a little bit of frustration now and then, you know, just to liven up the experience and you don't forget you are in a foreign country, haha. Germany really likes to do that to us. Just when we think we have it all 'down', BAM something frustrating and weird comes along, lol
Step 5: is when you get so used to your new culture that when you go to your home country, you feel weird there too! Yes, the expat life surely is a strange one. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I thought coming to the UK wouldn't be that different from the US, but boy was I wrong! Like the other day I told someone I wanted 'regular' coffee and got this blank stare. Turns out you have to say 'filter', even though it could have been from a french press. Which is actually called a cafetiere here? See, it continues! In a couple of months you'll wonder how you could ever leave. Strange how that happens ;)
@Meri haha yes, I'm sure the 2-4 closing time is strange for foreigners in Spain… it sometimes made me feel frustrated, too! I mean, seriously, some shops only re-open at 5pm !!
@TexaGermaNadianhaha, yes, Switzerland likes to do that too… just when you think you've "got it", something new comes along!
@Lifebeginsat30ty I had read about the 5th stage. I haven't experienced it yet though! But I can picture it: if I'd move back to Spain some day, I'd be annoyed at the unreliable bus schedules, the traffic, the noise, the 40ºC in june, and, as Meri said – the closing of shops from 2 to 4 !! I'd be used to swiss efficiency :)
I can definitely relate – I went through all of this when I moved to France. But now I feel I'm really acclimated! It took a long, long, time though. This is my third stay in France!
I think worse than culture shock it reverse-culture shock! I'm already dreading returning to the US and going back to the way things were – after I have changed !
I think one of the stages is getting really drunk all the time, and wishing you're somewhere else.
I can definitely relate–although it is MUCH harder when you don't know the language! It's been a lot easier to acclimate in Australia than it was in France just because I can communicate here without thinking twice.
I haven't lived abroad for long, but I can relate to the lack of language knowledge. Once while visiting family in Geneva for an extended period of time I had group of primary school children laugh out loud in my face on the playground because I didn't understand french. It made me feel about the size of an ant.
I also relate to this! I experienced every single one of these steps when I lived in London. The worst part is actually having to leave while you are in the middle of the last part – when you feel like you really belong. Trust me, you never get over it! :)
I have lived in the US, Singapore and now Switzerland and I love your post, because I totally can relate to it. Really nicely done! And great to meet a fellow Swiss (expat) blogger, greetings from Bern to Lausanne :)
Have a lovely day, Kristina
Even after living abroad for 9 years, I go through all the stages at one time or the other. The most challenging part is to adapt at home (country) when I go for annual holidays. Sometimes I feel as if I've lost the roots!
I enjoyed reading your post and even though I have never lived abroad I can see the progression of steps. Sounds like it is a natural progression. The issue is how long does it take before you don't feel like a foreigner?
Great insight though and a great reminder to be more patient and understanding of expats living in the US!
I am thankful for growing up with as much of a connection to the US as I have, because otherwise I would probably be in the same boat. I only get frustrated with certain forms of politics and their way of thought that is brought to the people, such as conservatism etc, or the ignorance for anything but themselves and their own country. I think, moving to a part of the world that calls French their main language, I would be struggling too. I just can't seem to improve my French for the life of me.
@Brenna [fabuleuxdestin] I guess that will be the worst of all… going back to where you were before, without being the one you were before.
@travelroach that's the worst phase – depression!
@Christine particularly France is quite tough for foreigners I think – the french give us a hard time to pronounce things correctly! Things are definitely easier in Australia.. oh I'm so jealous!
@Michelle kids can be so cruel….
@Eurotrip Tips I'm starting to dread that moment…
@Kristina Hi Kristina! US- Singapore – Switzerland… there's a whole lot of culture shock in there! nice meeting you neighbor!
@VaishVijay I feel a bit lost too when I go back home over holidays… but mine is not particularly a bad feeling. I think when you're only going there over holidays you don't have that much time to let the culture shock hit you… whenever you're starting to wonder what the hell you're doing there, you already have to go back!
@Debbie Beardsley I guess the time that takes to stop feeling like a foreigner depends a lot on each person and how much you are willing to integrate in the culture. I admit that my plan of not learning french at the beginning of my stay was not precisely the best one to integrate with the locals…
@Rebecca That's right. Probably, the more you know in advance of the culture before moving, the smoother the adjustment… but you can't really avoid all the shocks I guess!
I have just had my breakfast coffee, Katherina, but already I want my lunch to be the wonderful-looking filets de perche. Sweet!
Fascinating post, BTW. My experience of moving to the US from Australia has been nothing but a dream…any problems have been entirely of my own making :-)But I completely get your phases.
Nice to see a post on Switzerland !!
very interesting. i was in paris for a summer so i think i was mostly in the "honeymoon" phase with momentary hints of frustration : )
tgif!
I just found your blog through the blog hop (for the love of blogs) and I’m so glad I did! What an amazing life you have, to be able to travel and experience the world. Half of me is German (long story) but I was born and raised in Colombia. Living in Utah (out of all places…) To answer your question’ although I’m way past all those acculturation stages after living in the US for more than 15 years, I still am the “foreigner.” For as long as I live my heart will belong to Colombia.
What’s your hobby? Find a group that does what you like to do and join it. You will come out of there making friends that you really would care about because they have the same likes, ideas and goals as you. Good luck! Can’t wait what’s next for you so I’m following! :)
i think your stages are accurate, but i think “acclimation” should include more acceptance, relaxation and feeling a bit more natural at its most mature stage.
i moved from the US to the Netherlands to Australia, all of which are quite different, and have traveled extensively. maybe since i’m middle eastern but grew up in the US (and my family was raised with European ideals), i feel a bit immune to culture shock, since i experienced several distinct ones growing up.
even though the “shock” isn’t there, i’ve definitely experienced frustration, feeling separated (alienated even). the only thing to do is 1) try to accept cultural norms there and not compare them to your own, but 2) unapologetically be yourself. at first i felt like i had to hate the US to be accepted by anybody in the Netherlands. then i realized that was ridiculous, and that by instead being myself, i could spread a positive message. good luck!
yasmeen @ wandering spice recently posted..mandarin passion fruit pavlova
Oh wow, I couldn’t agree with this more! I hadn’t read this post before. I would say you pretty much pin-pointed it. I would say in Munich I’m somewhere between 3 and 4 haha…as sometimes the German ways still don’t quite settle with this Floridian. Oh well though, it’s biergarten season, and thats something I can only get here :) So I am enjoying the Spring again!
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I enjoyed reading this post and really identify with the phases. I don’t think that I ever passed the frustration phase during three years in Vietnam, I had some aspects of understanding but even after asking countless people to correct my pronunciation I could still not get a taxi driver to understand where I wanted to go when I said my address and I never managed to buy a bus ticket that didn’t end up in some kind of downgrade!
I feel a lot more accepted in Sweden where I now live but I think that Swedish culture is very similar to British so it’s much easier to acclimatise.
Runaway Brit recently posted..Valborg – Sweden Welcomes the Spring
This is the first I have learned of these 4 stages. I have been in Denmark for 5 months now, and think I am still stuck in stage 2. Do these stages have an estimated time frame for how long you should spend in each stage, because I am looking forward to moving on to stage 3!
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Hello All,
This is my second time living and studying in the Philippines and for those who have been here before, you will understand how hard it is to live here. The environment can seem so accomodating and hostile at the same time. I am still at stage two but eventually it will wear off. I guess part of my resistance to acclimate is because I do not want to experience Reverse Culture Shock a second time when I go back home.
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